Democrats Have a Chance in November — No Thanks to These Pundits

As the midterm campaign enters the final stretch, Democrats are no longer swimming in desperation. You can tell the mood has lightened because the White House has fully embraced the Twitter surge of corny Dark Brandon memes. It’s a notable shift after months of Democratic despair over grim poll numbers and grimmer election prospects.

What happened, mostly, is that the repeal of Roe v. Wade shook a lot of voters up, and Democrats found a way to unstick Joe Biden’s agenda on Capitol Hill.

What did not happen is the party’s embrace of the many, many, many pieces of advice being proffered in its darkest moments. The Democrats’ struggles over the past year were met with an overwhelming (if predictable) barrage of suggestions from political professionals, political junkies and just about anyone with a take they’d like to sling.

It’s been a familiar pattern for the party in recent history. So what was going to save the Democrats? According to the accumulated wisdom of pundits from the left, right and center over the years, Democratic salvation would come from…

1

Trump

2

Nancy Pelosi

3

Kyrsten Sinema shunning progressives

4

Stacey Abrams doubling down on a progressive message

5

Blake Masters, Dr. Oz and Herschel Walker

6

Other “unhinged GOP candidates”

7

GOP “crazy stuff”

8

Build Back Better

9

Joe Manchin killing Build Back Better

10

Redistricting in California

11

Redistricting in New York

12

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

13

God

14

Native Americans waking up

15

The white working class waking up

16

Yoga moms waking up

17

Dems remembering the power of Bill Clinton

18

Or the power of Obama

19

Obamacare

20

Obama stopping the “you didn’t build that” rhetoric

21

A better understanding of neuroscience

22

A better understanding of census trends

23

A better understanding of history

24

The formidable force of progressive grassroots organizing

25

The practical force of European centrism

26

Abandoning corporate interests

27

More money

28

Sherrod Brown and his populist, pro-worker politics

29

Kevin and Brendan Boyle and their populist, pro-worker politics

30

John Fetterman uniting Pennsylvania Democrats

31

Larry Pressler uniting South Dakota moderates

32

A unity slate for the presidential election

33

Funding for public education

34

A filter-free liberal podcast

35

Howard Schultz pulling the party to the center

36

Elizabeth Warren pushing the party to the left

37

Bernie Sanders and his progressive base

38

Pete Buttigieg saving the party from Bernie Sanders

39

Rahm Emanuel saving the party from Joe Biden

40

Joe Biden saving the Democrats from himself

41

Andrew Cuomo

42

Cynthia Nixon stopping Andrew Cuomo

43

Silicon Valley technocrats

44

“Popularism”

45

Regular people donating $4.68 per month

46

Billionaires

47

Rich suburban voters defecting from the GOP

48

Black women voting for Dems en masse

49

Millennials elbowing aside Baby Boomers

50

Catholics

51

Stoners